I want to share my story about how my journey of stepping out on faith started.

As a background, to provide some context: I started law school in 2019. Those three years were … yeaa … just know, I have nothing positive to say. LOL. I graduated law school in 2022, sat for the July 2022 bar exam, and was sworn in in September 2022.

I PASSED ON THE FIRST TRY YALL! *Pats myself on the back* because if you know, YOU KNOW! Lol

Now, in hindsight, my “stepping out on faith” journey may have actually started when I first committed to a law school. However, the next part of the story is where I REALIZED and had to ACTUALLY commit to stepping out on faith.

Last note for context: I was not confident when taking the Bar and I did not expect to pass that exam, and therefore, I never planned for life AFTER law school. So, when I passed, I had to scramble and figure out my next move. I wasnt even 100% sure which area I wanted to pursue.

Nonetheless, I prepared my resume and I immediately started getting discouraged and started to have self-doubt. LOL. I know what you are thinking – Girl, HOW?? You just became an Attorney and on you’re first try!? 

Yea no. Lol. I was like – Am I really qualified? Do I have enough experience? What do I wear? How should I wear my hair? & every other inner thought of a Black woman entering into a profession where the majority doesn’t look like her.

But after surprising myself and actually passing, I knew deep down that I had to be destined for something… That God had a plan for me and I was correctly following His path. And that my prayers and hard work were actually coming to fruition. So I got myself together, hyped myself up, and went on interview after interview. Many of them went well, and many went exactly as some of you may imagine.

I remember one interview, I swear, he only took the interview (likely as a favor/formality) because I applied through my school, and the Dean of Career and Development sent my resume on my behalf. When I say that man asked me ONE question during the interview (why family law?) and then proceeded to give me EVERY reason he could think of as to why I shouldn’t work family law and how I would not be able to handle working 45 minutes away. I kid you not, the interview was about 15-20 minutes and I maybe spoke a total of 5 of those minutes. He emailed me the next day and said that he wouldn’t offer me the job because HE felt my commute was too much (DESPITE how much I indicated that I was willing and capable) Oh well, *shrugs* And I kept it moving.

Then I thought I found my dream job! It was a small firm, run by a woman who was WELL connected in this specific area and even board certified; good salary; good benefits; my own private office; shareable office space with other attorneys who practiced in the other areas I was interested in; down the street from my house; a promise to teach & mentor me, etc. etc. etc. – it was what I thought I had been praying for.

I will say, I went through a lot to get that job. I feel like I practically begged for that job & jumped through every hoop and hurdle – I did a virtual interview. In person interview. Both went well & I mean … very well! We hit it off! (… I thought!) Then I was notified that I was likely the one, but she was changing locations and that once she moved, if I was still interested, we could discuss again. I still interviewed at other places, but I really wanted that one! So, I kept in touch with her until one day she asked if I would be willing to do a paid working interview so that she could evaluate me. She had previously mentioned that she was hard to work with, that she’d been through many employees, and just wanted to be sure, this time, that it was going to be a good fit. I was actually confident about my work ethic and so I agreed. And as I expected, we were both pleased. (Again, or so I thought …) & She offered me the job

& despite every RED flag that God placed in front of me to go down ANY path but the one leading to that office (especially those unmentioned here) …

I accepted the job … and quickly realized that it wasn’t a good fit. Without going into much detail, for obvious reasons, the yelling in office settings (even with the occasional “im sorry/I talk to everyone like that including my 4 year old) was not working for me. I felt that I was being belittled & bullied rather than being provided with constructive criticism. And I’ll just say that my experience there really shook me to my core. I hated going in every day, I hated walking on eggshells during the day WHILE trying to prove myself; and I hated even more that I had to wake up and do it all over again the next day. And I know that I often bit my tongue out of fear of being new into the profession, being labled as the Angry Black Woman & even more worried about burning bridges.

And I remember hearing horror stories about working private practice and the hurdles many had to jump through. And the constant reminder from seasoned attorneys, “you gotta be willing to put in the work!” And I also remember thinking – is it me? Am I not working hard enough? Is this just a test? Like is this normal? Am I being ungrateful to God? Because I felt like I was giving up too easily. I felt like I wasn’t fighting to be there after God had allowed me to pass and be there. Like I was letting Him down. But I also remember thinking “NAH! … There’s ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that THIS is what God promised me!” Like “I refuse to believe that!” “I KNOW that this isn’t why I bussed my behind in law school!” “There’s no way that this is the plan!”

And one day, after only 3 months, I woke up and I was so uneasy. And of course, that day, I woke up and arrived at work earlier than usual. And I remember sitting in the car and not wanting to go inside. And I remember not being able to control my emotions, and I HATE letting people see that they got the best of me! And I usually don’t allow it, but this time, I couldn’t shake it. And when my boss got in that day, I immediately went to her office and told her I needed a personal day.

I called my mom, and whatever I said to her that day, caused her to leave work and come home. And if you know my mom, she is not going to just take off work, there needs to be a legitimate reason for her to leave or take off.

Together, we read The Prayer of Jabez: Breaking Through to the Blessed Life by Bruce Wilkinson. It basically guides readers “to discover how they can release God’s miraculous power and experience the blessing God longs to give each of us.” To oversimplify – it teaches you about this prayer, and then encourages you to say the prayer for 30 days to unlock a blessing.

SIDENOTE: If you are going through a hard time; having difficulty talking to God and hearing Him; and feeling like you’re just STUCK, I encourage you to read this book! It’s a very quick read with a POWERFUL teaching!

Now back to the story:

Through reading that book, I learned about a prayer often overlooked in the bible – The Prayer of Jabez: “Oh, that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” 1 Chronicles 4:10 (I have prayed this prayer EVERY DAY since I read this book, it has become a part of my daily prayer)

And by the end of that book – When I say, in those few hours of reading it and talking about it with my mom, my whole mindset changed!!

The very next day, I woke up, said that prayer, and I resigned. And at that very moment, I stepped out on faith, without a job lined up and without a lot of savings. I fixed my resume and got back to applying. And it seemed nothing was really catching my interest, I kept receiving rejections, and I was feeling very discouraged. But on that 30th day, I got a call to come and interview, preferably that SAME day. “WOAH!” I haven’t even prepared. I haven’t looked up the firm too much. I barely even remember applying. But God was saying, JUST GO! So, I got up, got dressed, and went! 

I was hired on the spot! And that job … Listen …

Stay tuned for part 2 to find out if that job was the ONE.

**A note to those who have met me AFTER this job: I know some of you may be surprised by this story and about my inner thoughts because I OFTEN appear very confident and assertive. But THAT job and that experience is the reason I am who I am at work. I learned some hard lessons at that job and it is the very reason I don’t tolerate workplace disrespect and why I now speak up the FIRST TIME – because in the most humblest way, a job has to deserve ME, not the other way around, & I know that now!**

TAKE AWAY:

Don’t ignore the red flags that God puts before you. He knows more than you and He will not steer you wrong. I truly believe that God had to force me to listen! Don’t be hard headed like me. Because it was very true … that job was NOT what I was promised & it was NOT my dream job.

Sometimes, the answer is NO! And we gotta stop telling God what WE think our purpose should be and allow him to guide us to the purpose that He has for us. I truly feel like God said, “HERE GIRL! This is NOT the one! But you want to be hard headed, so HERE!” – listen, I’m not gon tell yall how when I pray and ask for something now, I add “but only if you want me to… & if the answer is NO, I promise I’m OK with that” LOL

And most of all, when God tells you to move, MOVE! – I don’t usually do things without a plan. I don’t like to move suddenly or irrationally. But that day, knowing that I didn’t have much money saved and WITHOUT a plan, I MOVED … because God told me to. And when I say that was THE BEST decision of my career thus far, it’s truly an understatement.

Don’t let the devil/outside world trick you into thinking that you aren’t valuable or deserving of greatness, and that you should accept the bare minimum. Just know, NO ONE can change or alter the promise and purpose that God has for you!